The debate over whether squirting is pee or not is a tiresome and ultimately pointless one. Instead, vulva-owners should focus on pleasure.
Pornography and media often depict squirting as a female superpower, but some women are uncomfortable with the sensation. Some worry that they will be contaminated, while others feel grossed out.
1. It’s a natural part of sex
Research suggests that both squirting and female ejaculation are normal sexual experiences for women. Squirting can occur at varying levels of sexual arousal, either spontaneously or as a result of stimulation like oral sex. The fluid released during squirting appears to be mostly water, but it contains a small amount of urea. The exact origin of the liquid isn’t known, but researchers believe it’s likely related to a woman’s pelvic floor strength. Pornography tends to exaggerate squirting, but even in real life, it isn’t something that every woman experiences all the time.
In fact, many women don’t experience squirting or ejaculation at all. Some are just not wired for it, and that’s perfectly okay. There are still plenty of other sexual pleasures to be had.
Those who do experience squirting, however, report that it’s a lot of fun and adds an extra dimension to their sexual pleasure. They also say that it’s a good way to make orgasms more intense.
Squirting can be done alone or with a partner, and it’s a great way to play before sex. The trick is finding the right level of pressure that feels good. If you’re having trouble getting started, try using a clitoral vibrator and stimulating your clitoris with it at the same time. You can also use a toy or a hand toy and apply pressure that feels good.
While some people describe squirting as a form of female ejaculation, researchers disagree on this point. Some experts think that the terms are interchangeable, while others don’t. One study found that the release of clear liquids during an orgasm was similar to squirting, but that wasn’t always the case.
The other debate is whether or not squirting is the same as peeing during sex. One expert, Kenneth Play, an International Educator and Sex Hacker, says that squirt is probably urine, but it’s not necessarily “pee” in the same sense as you might think of it when thinking about your bathroom habits. This is because the liquid comes from the so-called Skene glands, which drain fluid into the urethra.
2. It’s not a problem
If a woman’s body does not respond to squirting in the same way as someone else’s, that’s completely fine. “There is a big misconception that all women must squirt, but we have to remember that every body is different,” says Lachman.
The recent study that got all the attention about squirting and peeing during sex included just seven test subjects, which is far too small of a sample to make any conclusive statements about what all bodies can and cannot do. Some well-meaning articles and classes rely on it to assert that everyone can squirt, but we should be suspicious of any blanket statement about bodies.
Regardless, squirting is still important to some people and should not be shamed or devalued if it doesn’t happen in your body. If your partner is making you feel bad about not squirting, that’s a problem and you need to find another sexual partner who prioritizes your pleasure.
For some reason, many men are obsessed with female ejaculation and want to see women squirting during sex. Perhaps it’s because men are accustomed to providing visual proof of their pleasure with penile ejaculation, and they desire the same from women as well. Or maybe it’s because squirting is a sign of virility, which translates to power in the bedroom.
If you want to learn how to squirt, there’s no harm in trying, but you should never be pressured into doing it by your partner or by society. The key to enjoying sex is to focus on pleasure, not performance. Squirting can be an amazing source of pleasure, but it’s not the end goal.
Also, it’s not necessary to squirt in order to enjoy sex or get an orgasm. A number of orgasms can occur without squirting at all, and some people even experience orgasms more intensely when they don’t squirt at all. But if you do decide to try squirting, we recommend starting by strengthening your pelvic floor muscles with exercises like Kegels. They will help you to be more flexible in your climaxes and increase the chances of squirting during sex.
3. It’s a personal thing
Women often squirt on purpose because it makes them feel good. But it’s a personal thing, and not something you need to be ashamed of. And it’s important to remember that squirting is different from female ejaculate, which consists of less than 10 milliliters of fluid that looks like watered-down milk, according to experts. Squirting, on the other hand, can involve much more than that – a lot more — and can shoot or dribble out of your vagina in a variety of ways.
In a study, Swedish researchers found that some women felt embarrassed about squirting because they worried their partner would think they’d wet themselves during sex. Some were also disappointed that squirting didn’t give them an orgasm, sexologist Siv Gamnes tells Mashable. But Gamnes says the key to feeling good about squirting is to focus on the pleasure it brings you, rather than worrying about the liquid itself. That’s especially true for those who squirt as a result of orgasms during sex. Women who do that may actually get even more orgasms if they focus on the sensation.
4. It’s not a big deal
While squirting is a common topic of conversation, there are a lot of misconceptions about the sensation. Some people think that squirting is a bad thing, or that it’s a sign of a problem with your vulva. But it’s actually not. It’s a natural part of sexual pleasure for many women, and it can be a great way to have an orgasm. There are a few things to keep in mind before you start exploring this part of your body, though. First, make sure that you’re comfortable with it and have a partner who is supportive. Second, don’t force yourself to squirt if you’re not interested. That will just cause stress and could end up being counterproductive. And finally, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty if you don’t squirt — everyone’s bodies are different and some don’t do it at all.
Despite the fact that squirting is a normal part of sexual pleasure, it’s still widely stigmatised in society. The UK government recently banned female ejaculation from pornography (also known as “urolagnia”), and online porn often depicts women urinating while squirting. Then, there are the squirting fetishists who spend their time searching for “golden showers” on Porn Hub.
It’s not just the perception of squirting that’s problematic; it’s also the way that squirting is treated in the media and in sex education classes. Some articles and classes suggest that all women can squirt, or that not squirting is a sign of a problem. But these assertions are based on very small studies that don’t necessarily reflect the experiences of all women.
Siv Gamnes, a sexologist and nurse, has heard from several clients that they were shamed by their partners or parents for squirting. Some were worried about whether it was urine, and others were disappointed that squirting didn’t give them an orgasm.
The reality is that the amount of fluid you squirt depends on how much stimulation you receive. Some women may squirt a little bit, while others can shoot a geyser of fluid that’s big enough to soak the bed sheets and their partner. But focusing on how much you squirt can take the enjoyment out of the experience, so it’s best not to overthink it.