Women squirt because of arousal, which is why squirting can be so pleasurable. It can also be uncomfortable for people who are not familiar with the sensations involved.
For many, squirting was something that had never happened to them before. They had to figure out how to make sense of it using the available interpersonal and cultural scripts.
1. Don’t Be Afraid to Squirt in Public
Squirting can be a powerful sexual experience, but many women don’t let themselves enjoy it. This is largely because of the stigma that surrounds it. The perception that squirting is pee can devalue and invalidate female pleasure and can have real-life consequences, like the UK government banning female ejaculation in pornography in 2014. Squirting can also be uncomfortable for some women, especially those who are unable to squirt.
A recent study of women’s experiences with vaginal squirting found that most had discovered their squirting ability either through unintentional discovery (65%) or by trying to squirt for the first time (7.6%). The study asked women how they felt about squirting, including whether it was pleasurable and what techniques were used to achieve the sensation. It is important to note that the study relied on self-report, which can lead to recall and reporting biases.
Women described squirting as a sensation that ranged from desirable to undesirable, with some describing it as an aspect of their sexual pleasure and fulfillment that was connected to sub-cultural scripts on female sexual response, such as those found in BDSM or tantra circles. Others, however, viewed it as norm-exceeding and connected to something “hypersexual.”
One of the reasons that some women have difficulty experiencing squirting is because they are not sure how to go about achieving it. This is due to a lack of knowledge and education about the process. There are a number of ways that women can learn to squirt, and the best way is to explore their bodies in a safe, comfortable environment and to work up to it slowly.
Once women have mastered the basics, they can begin to experiment with squirting in different positions to find what feels most enjoyable and satisfying. Ideally, squirting should be done with a partner who is willing to try it out and who can support them as they get their body into the right state of arousal.
A good way to test the waters is by experimenting with a couple of orgasms, and then asking the receiver if they want to move on to squirting. It is crucial that the squirting is allowed to take place in a context where the receiver is fully aware of what is happening, and they are not afraid to be touched in ways that may be unusual or uncomfortable for them.
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Share Your Squirting Experience
Squirting can be a fun, satisfying experience. But it is not for everyone. And that is okay! Just like orgasms, squirting doesn’t feel good for everyone.
A lot of women find themselves feeling a little self-conscious about squirting, especially if they are not sure how to explain it to others. But this is no reason to keep it a secret!
In fact, many of the women in our research found that squirting made them feel more confident and empowered. They felt that squirting was an expression of their feminine power, and they wanted to share it with other women.
The women who were interviewed talked about how they had first experienced squirting at different times in their lives. Some had sought it out, reading Deborah Sundahl’s book Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot, attending workshops or tantric events, or finding partners who were interested in squirting. Other women recalled that it had just happened to them as a natural part of sexual pleasure, often with no explanation or awareness at the time.
These women’s descriptions of squirting as a sexual superpower or feminist statement are intriguing, and they suggest that these women are actively trying to rewrite their cultural sexual script through the act of squirting. They describe it as a means of exploration or (re)discovery of the capability of their own bodies, as well as a form of empowerment and fascination of their intrapsychic sexual script.
One woman described how she was shocked when her friend told her that she had never squirted, as if it were something unnatural or strange. Others reported that their friends had a similar reaction, and said they felt embarrassed to discuss it with them.
Squirting can be a very intimate and empowering experience, and it is important that we share our experiences with other women so that they feel more comfortable talking about it. And remember, it is not just squirting that feels like wetting yourself; the sensation of clitoral play is also very similar to wetting yourself. So go ahead and get your squirt on!
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
Women reported experiencing a wide spectrum of feelings in their squirting experience. For example, some described their first time squirting as a “feminist statement,” while others felt embarrassment and discomfort about the expulsion of fluids. This was largely because of the lack of information they had about squirting, as well as the taboos and mystification surrounding female ejaculation. It was also a challenge for them to make sense of what they had done, and how their partner responded. Concerns about whether the fluid contained urine were a particular source of anxiety for some respondents.
One of the most interesting aspects of the research was how many women used squirting as an exploration or a process of (re-)discovery. They were trying to rewrite their cultural sexual script about sex, using squirting as a tool of empowerment and agency. Amazement, feeling proud and sensing that they had a “sexual superpower” were some of the most common descriptions.
Some of the women in the study had actively sought out squirting, either by reading Deborah Sundahl’s book on female ejaculation, participating in sex workshops or tantric events, or meeting people who were focused on giving them this experience. However, most of them stumbled upon it by accident. They recalled other occasions in their life when sexual stimulation led to the expulsion of fluid, but they had not connected this to squirting at the time.
In order to squirt, it is important to have control over your pelvic floor muscles. These are the hammock-like set of muscles that hold in your lower organs, from your uterus to your bowels. It is a good idea to practice these muscles regularly, as they will play an important role in the way that you squirt.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Squirt with a Partner
For some women, the discovery that they squirt during orgasm took them by surprise. They may have been unaware of squirting as a part of female orgasm until they saw it on social media, in pornography, or other sources. This lack of information can contribute to a sense of mystification around this aspect of female sexuality. However, researchers have found that providing more nuanced and inclusive information about female orgasms can help to reduce taboos and misinformation about squirting and can increase comfort with the experience.
If you’re interested in exploring squirting, it’s important to talk with your partner(s). If they’re comfortable with it, then it can be an amazing experience for both of you! But just like any sexual activity, it’s essential to practice safe sex. Always use barrier methods and lubrication, and be sure to clean up afterward. It’s also a good idea to have a few sex blankets designed for squirting (such as Liberator’s, Squirtopia’s, or Splash Blanket) and a disposable option like puppy pads on hand, just in case things get messy.
No two vaginas are the same, and not all women orgasm the same way. Squirting can be an amazing part of female orgasms, but it’s not something that everyone does. And that’s okay! It’s important to remember that sex isn’t a competition. It’s about pleasure, connection, and empowerment. And if squirting doesn’t happen for you, that’s totally fine too!
In addition to being a sexy thing to do, squirting can be an amazing bonding activity. It’s a way to physically connect with your partner(s) in an intimate, sensual way that can lead to incredible feelings of love and sexual satisfaction. So don’t be afraid to give it a try!
If you’re ready to take your squirting to the next level, check out my digital Masterclass, Squirting Orgasms: From Myth to Mastery. With proper guidance, this simple technique can transform your orgasms and deepen your relationship. And of course, always listen to your body and do what feels right for you! The most important thing is to stay safe and have fun!