For many women, discovering they could squirt came as a surprise. They felt amazement, pride, and a sense of possessing a superpower.
They also experienced challenges. Uncertainty about what the fluid actually contained — and concerns about its appearance — was a common theme in their narratives. Some women tried to manage these concerns by always emptying their bladder before sex.
1. It’s not pee
The clear liquid produced during some instances of squirting—the more “gushing” type—does likely come from the bladder (or at least pass through it) as some biochemical analyses have shown, but it’s not pee. A 2015 study had seven women pee before and after squirting, finding that their bladders filled prior to squirting but were empty right after. Additionally, five of those women’s squirt samples contained prostate-specific antigen, which isn’t found in urine.
Despite these findings, many women still believe squirting is pee. This may be in part because of the way squirting is commonly depicted in pornography, which often shows women ejaculating pee. This representation can devalue and invalidate female pleasure by equating it with urine. The ongoing skepticism around squirting also may have to do with the discomfort our society has with depictions of female pleasure—as illustrated by the 2014 ban on squirting in pornography in the UK.
A more accurate and helpful way to describe what squirters experience is to call it retrograde ejaculation, which happens when the body’s natural orgasm triggers fluids to be released from the Skene gland rather than the bladder. Many of these fluids are a mixture of urine and something else, like sperm or semen.
While some people may argue that squirting isn’t pee because the substance doesn’t smell like urine, it’s important to note that it can still contain a significant amount of pee, depending on when the woman last peed and how hydrated she is. Regardless, it’s more useful and accurate to simply say that female squirting—and not pee—is what most of us experience when we squirt. Get the LGBTQ+ news you need, every weekday morning. Sign up for the MindBodyGreen newsletter.
2. It’s not a big deal
Squirting is a natural expression of sexual pleasure for many women, and it’s often described as exquisite, luscious, and freeing. While it’s not for everyone, it’s a valid way to express sexual desire and pleasure, and it can be just as pleasurable as any other orgasm.
However, there are a number of challenges that arise when squirting is first experienced and may interfere with pleasure. In a recent study, Swedish researchers found that some participants struggled to make sense of their squirting experience and were often unsure whether what they felt was a real orgasm. This discrepancy between expectations and lived experiences was a major contributor to the confusion around squirting.
Some women were also worried that they had wet themselves during sex, especially when the squirts didn’t look or smell like urine. This was linked to anxiety about what squirting really meant, and it was a key reason why some of the women in the study did not report experiencing a true orgasm.
Ultimately, the key is to not focus on how the experience looks, but rather on what it feels like. And once you’ve gotten past your own fears, it can be incredibly hot.
Squirting is not a taboo, but it’s a part of female sexuality that is still misunderstood and misrepresented in the media. Pornhub searches for “squirting” have soared this year, but most of the videos are about exhibitionistic sex, not intimacy. That’s why it’s important to get informed about female ejaculation and sexual pleasure, so you can make the best decisions for your own pleasure. To help, I’ve created a new digital Masterclass on female orgasms that will guide you from myth to mastery of this beautiful art form.
3. It’s not embarrassing
For many women, squirting is their first experience with female orgasm. And, like any new sensation, it takes some getting used to. In our research, many participants reported feeling a mixture of emotions when squirting; some felt embarrassed and some found it pleasurable. Some also reported that their partners made them feel comfortable or excited about it. However, others felt shame or discomfort because they didn’t understand what was happening. This miscommunication was due to the taboos, mystification and skewed information about female orgasm/squirting that is often present in sex education and in popular culture such as porn.
When squirting, most women can’t actually see what they are squirting. But, they can smell it and feel the vibrations in their pelvic area. They might even be able to hear the sound of their own squirt! Squirting is a very pleasurable and intimate feeling. And, it feels different for every woman, depending on their individual sensual needs and preferences.
While the fluid that squirts out of women’s bodies is mostly urine, it can also include other things such as creatine, urea and an enzyme produced by the prostate gland. Some studies have shown that this can vary from one woman to the next and is often a surprise for those who have never experienced it before.
For those who aren’t squirters, it is possible to have pleasurable orgasms without squirting. But, the best way to know is to try it out for yourself and let your own body tell you what it wants! If you’re in a relationship with someone who pressures you to squirt, let them know that it’s OK not to and that your pleasure is most important. And if they keep making you feel bad about not squirting, then it’s probably time to find another partner who will respect your pleasure and body!
4. It’s not a sign of promiscuity
Squirting has become all the rage in porn circles, with searches for “squirt” on Pornhub skyrocketing over the past year. Yet, despite its popularity, the fluid that squirts out of women’s bodies is not exactly a well-understood phenomenon. For one, squirting is not pee; it’s something called female ejaculate. This distinction is important because, as Vice notes, squirting has long been stigmatized as a sign of promiscuity, with the British government even banning depictions of squirting in pornography in 2014 for being obscene. Sadly, this skepticism about female pleasure has real ramifications: It can devalue and invalidate women’s sexual experiences (especially when it’s asserted that squirting is just pee) and cause women to feel ashamed of a natural aspect of their sexual responses.
To add to the confusion, many of the women in our study lacked a clear understanding of how to squirt or what it was all about. They wished that they had received more information about it in their sex education. This was a major theme throughout the narratives we heard from the Swedish women we interviewed: that there were taboos and skewed information about squirting/female ejaculation that could be resolved through more nuanced information.
Ultimately, we need to focus on how to get more people to squirt in ways that make them happy and not shame them for doing so. After all, it’s not only a natural bodily function but also a sign that they’re enjoying themselves during sex. And, of course, squirting can lead to further pleasures with partners who are ready for it. But we won’t get there until our culture stops shaming women for their sexual pleasures in general and, specifically, for squirting.
5. It’s not a sign of weakness
Despite what a lot of people believe, squirting is not a sign of weakness. Women who squirt are just as strong and powerful as women who don’t. In fact, squirting can be an extremely enjoyable experience. It’s not uncommon for squirters to report feeling orgasms during and after the act.
In our research, women who squirted described a variety of experiences, from a sense of sexual empowerment to feelings of shame. On the other end of the spectrum, some of the women described squirting as being like a “sexual superpower” or a feminist statement, which ties into how squirting can empower women by giving them a visible means of experiencing pleasure and rewriting cultural sexual scripts.
These women often had a positive relationship with their partners, who were either supportive or at least tolerant of their squirting. However, a few women mentioned being shamed by their partners, either explicitly or through their reactions to the squirting. This can have a serious negative impact on the woman’s relationship with her body and sexuality, as it can lead to feelings of shame or guilt.
If your partner makes you feel bad about not squirting, consider talking to them about it. Explain to them that squirting is not something you should be ashamed of, and that they have the right to prioritize their pleasure and comfort. And if they continue to make you feel bad about it, it may be time to find a new partner who values your pleasure and doesn’t shame you for it.
As we mentioned earlier, the muscles that control female ejaculation also contribute to urinary function. This is why it’s important to empty your bladder before having sex. And it’s why we recommend laying down a towel to catch any potential fluid spills.