Depending on your age and where you live, sending nudes is illegal. It can also lead to emotional abuse or even sexual grooming.
It’s important to understand why sexual nudes are so dangerous and why it’s so easy for unhealthy partners to turn them into a weapon against you.
1. They’re a form of objectification
Nudes are a form of objectification, and this is true for men and women alike. Whether it’s a selfie, a screenshot of a video chat or a deepfake image edited to look like you, sharing sexual nudes is a way for people to objectify others. It can also be a way for someone to blackmail you, as the images could be used as evidence of a sexual relationship that went wrong or even as proof that a child or young person is not safe.
In the age of social media, online dating and teenage text messaging it is not uncommon for someone to receive nude photos or videos from their partner. This is known as sexting and can happen on any platform that has a message or chat function, including WhatsApp, Instagram, Snapchat and various dating apps. Despite its prevalence, research exploring individual differences in this behaviour is sparse.
When a woman is sent a nude photo, it can make her feel violated. This is especially true if the person asking for the nude photo is male and is not her partner or parent. There is a clear link between nudity and sexual arousal, but this response is not triggered by just the sight of skin. Other factors can influence it, such as the body’s position and shape or the clothing that is being worn.
If a young person is being asked for nude photos, they should know that it is against the law in some states to share explicit content. They should be aware of the risks and that once they send a nude image, it cannot be taken back. They should speak to their parents and ask for advice on how to safely share and send content online.
2. They’re a form of revenge
It’s important for kids to understand that sharing intimate images or videos online – commonly known as sexting – can be risky. Even if you are sure the person who receives your nude image or video has consented to see it, there’s no guarantee that they won’t share it with others. The risk of nude pictures or videos being shared is very real, and sadly, it can lead to many harmful outcomes for the victim.
One of the most common consequences of sexting is that the victim becomes the subject of revenge porn. A revenge porn perpetrator will share or threaten to distribute a sexually explicit picture or video of the victim without their consent. This type of abuse is also referred to as image-based abuse, and it’s never OK.
A common scenario for this form of abuse is when a stranger who meets a victim in an online chatroom or on a social media platform earns their trust over time and then convinces them to send nude images or strip via a webcam. The victim then discovers that their image has been distributed to others – for example, their friends, family members, or coworkers.
This is a form of cyberbullying and is very harmful to victims, who may be harassed or made fun of, experience anxiety about their reputation, or feel unsafe in their relationship. It’s important for young people to know that if their sext is shared publicly, they should not take it personally. It’s also important for them to learn that there are plenty of ways to express intimacy with their partners, and that nudes aren’t the only way. They could try calling or texting, going on a walk or a movie together, or even just using their imagination to imagine their partner.
3. They’re a form of gaslighting
Sharing nudes isn’t just about having a bit of fun or flirting. It can also be a form of sexual exploitation and blackmail. It can be used to manipulate someone, control them and make them feel powerless. It can also lead to feelings of shame, guilt and worthlessness.
It’s important to have a conversation with your children and young people about how this kind of content can be used against them. It’s a good idea to have this conversation in a way that suits their age, maturity and the type of relationship they are in. For example, it may be better to have the conversation while on a walk or in the car.
Sometimes, adults will use sexually explicit images and videos to blackmail children or young people. This can happen in online dating apps, on social media or direct text messages. This is called cyberflashing and can include nudes, pictures of genitals and sexual selfies. It could also be an image or video taken on a phone or tablet and sent to another device via Airdrop, Nearby Share or other apps.
The person who receives the nude image or video might be a sexual predator, paedophile or someone who feels threatened by you in some other way. They might threaten to publish the photo or video of you online, or use it against you in a fight or if you end the relationship. If this happens, report it to the Australian Centre to Counter Child ExploitationExternal link.
If you think a friend or child is being pressured to send nudes or sexual content, encourage them to talk to their parents or a trusted adult. It’s brave for them to say something, so it’s a good idea to show that you support them and will listen to their concerns. You might even want to consider limiting their internet access or mobile phone privileges.
4. They’re a form of emotional abuse
In unhealthy relationships nudes can become a weapon of control. When someone you trust asks for intimate pictures or videos of you, it can make you feel uncomfortable and afraid to speak up when something is wrong. They may threaten to use the images against you during fights or when they want you to leave their relationship. Ultimately, sharing nudes can be emotional abuse and a form of narcissistic and psychopathological behavior.
Taking, having or sharing sexual images of people under 18 years of age is against the law – even if everyone involved has consented. It’s important for parents and carers to discuss this topic with their children early, and to know where to get help if they think a child is being harmed. You can find a range of resources for talking to young people about sex, love, and relationships on the Thinkuknow website.
Sexting can be a harmless way for consenting adults to express themselves, but it’s also possible for someone else to access this content without the sender knowing. This is why it’s important to only share sexts with people you trust and who can keep your safety in mind.
It’s also worth mentioning that some abusers might use artificial intelligence tools to create fake nude photos of you which look very real. This is called a deepfake and can be used for malicious purposes, such as blackmailing or harassment. If you’re being threatened with a sexual image, it is best NOT to pay the blackmailer, and to contact the Australian Centre for Countering Child Sexual Exploitation for support. You can report the abuser to the police if you’re being abused this way.
5. They’re a form of self love
Even if you’re sure your partner won’t share your nudes or that they won’t end up on a weird internet chat room (which are all legitimate concerns), once something is sent it’s out of your hands. It could be forwarded to a coworker, hacked or screenshotted. The internet is forever and it doesn’t take much for nudes to be shared with the world.
For many people, sending sexual nudes is a form of self love and a way to show others they’re proud of their body. Nude photos promote body positivity and can increase pleasure in ways other than sex. However, it’s important to note that sexual nudes can also be harmful. For example, if you’re in an unhealthy relationship and your partner uses nude pictures to gaslight or emotional abuse you, it can be damaging.
Sexual nudes are also a way to express one’s independence. If you’re in a healthy relationship, it’s fine to send nudes, but make sure they’re with a trusted friend or group of friends. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable or like they’re trying to control your freedom, that’s a red flag and it’s time to stop communicating with them.
There’s no doubt that sexting is rampant in our culture, and while research on the predictors of this behavior is limited, most dudes who ask for nudes deliver. Still, it’s a risky way to show off your personal best and, at the end of the day, who’s really going to be happy with a picture of you squatting down to snap your nipple? If you’re in a relationship, it may be helpful to have an early protective conversation about nudes and consent.