Whether it’s urine or some other fluid, squirting is one of the most popular things people post on porn sites. However, not everyone squirts, and that’s totally okay.
Women’s experiences with squirting displayed a diverse range of emotions and responses. Amazement and feelings of pride accompanied the squirting of some, while others felt embarrassment and shame.
What is it?
Squirting happens during sexual arousal and is an expulsion of around 10 ml of a transparent fluid, similar to pee. It comes from the bladder, exits through the urethral opening and can look like a fountain or more like a flow. The fluid can have a very different smell and taste than urine, and some people find it to be delicious. Some of the participants in the study described how their squirting fluid felt good and made them feel powerful, but also how it was sometimes painful or uncomfortable. It was also very difficult for them to know if their fluid actually contained urine or not. This could be because of the way they were taught to identify squirting, or because of how the experience was depicted in pornography.
For some of the women, squirting was something they had hoped to achieve or had been working towards. For these women, the squirting fluid was something they described as amazing and that gave them feelings of power and self-worth. They also often described it as a feminist statement and an active display of sexual pleasure, which challenged and empowered their internal sexual scripts.
Other women were surprised when their squirting took place. These women were often disappointed with the results of their efforts to squirt, and felt like they were let down by their body. They frequently used phrases such as “I thought I was gonna squirt so much, but it didn’t come out” or “I really wanted to squirt, but I didn’t feel anything”.
The majority of the participants were in relationships, either monogamous or in consensual non-monogamy. Some of them had recently ended long-term heterosexual marriages, and others had started dating. They were all between 23 and 69 years old, and were single or in a relationship, either monogamous or in a conscientious non-monogamy.
The study showed that men’s perception of a woman squirting during sex depends on their cultural script and sex education, which in many cases is shaped by pornography. Men who have been conditioned to view women as squeaky clean, neat and antiseptic will find squirting gross. But men who have a more relaxed and open understanding of female bodies with pheromones, sexual secretions and drives will be gratified by a woman enjoying herself so much that she squirts.
How do I do it?
Women must be comfortable and trusting with their partners in order to let themselves squirt. That’s why it’s important to start with a relationship built on honesty and open communication. It’s also important to remember that squirting doesn’t feel the same for everyone—or even for all women. It depends on the sensitivity of the internal vaginal tissue, as well as the individual’s level of arousal. For example, some people squirt liquid, and others squirt air or a cloud of white fuzz. Some squirt only one time, while others will squirt multiple times during a single session.
The good news is that you can help your partner have a better chance of squirting by working together to achieve arousal and getting her into the right mindset. This can be done through discussion, massage, and even kegel exercises. These are a group of exercises that target the pubococcygeus muscles (also called the pelvic floor). Performing kegels for short bursts can help strengthen these muscles, which will give you greater control over your squirting.
Many of the women interviewed in this study reported that squirting gave them a sense of power, as they were able to control what was going on inside their bodies. The feeling of possessing a sexual superpower was a theme that came up frequently, especially for those who had experienced squirting for the first time and were surprised by it.
For other women, squirting was connected to pornography, which led them to doubt the legitimacy of their experience or fear that others would react negatively. This is a complex connection that deserves further research, as it shows how these women are negotiating their sexual scripts.
Once your partner is in the mood, the next step is to get her into position. Some people need firm G-spot stimulation to squirt, while others need soft clitoral circling. And the best way to know what will work is to experiment with different techniques, while listening to your partner for verbal and non-verbal physical cues. This will allow you to provide her with the most satisfying sensations.
Why do I do it?
Women who squirt frequently report it as a pleasure, often as an orgasm, and it’s a part of many of their sexual scripts. They feel like it gives them an advantage in sex, or that it’s a way to let off steam (in case you don’t know, squirting is one of the most common reasons for orgasms). But squirting also comes with a social cost – if a woman squirts on someone in public, it can get embarrassing quickly, especially if the person is not accustomed to this sort of thing.
Some people don’t like squirting because they think it’s gross or inappropriate, but for most people who squirt regularly, it is not at all. In fact, squirting is so popular that it’s one of the most commonly watched categories on Pornhub, and a huge number of men are interested in watching squirting videos. But why is this? What is it about this act that attracts so many people?
Interestingly, most of the women we interviewed for this study reported being unaware that squirting existed prior to their first experience, or had received skewed information about female orgasm in general. This lack of information or mystification around squirting/female ejaculation was one of the key issues highlighted by our research, and could be remedied through better education on female sexual response and nuanced information about the fluids that squirt from the body.
In addition to being squirted on, women who squirt are often the target of well-meaning articles and classes that insist that all women can squirt, that squirting is not just “porn” or about “promiscuity,” and so forth. This can create feelings of discomfort, embarrassment, and alienation, as the women in our studies described.
In addition to this, it’s worth pointing out that if you do want to be a squirter, be prepared for a lot of dirty work. It’s not just a matter of putting a few towels down, as some women suggest – you’re going to be dealing with seminal fluid and/or urine. And, depending on the man you’re with, this may or may not be a turn on.